10/1 - Being Released

Because of the pending surgery I was not able to sleep.  When we woke up we were waiting to hear back the results of the ultrasound.  Dr. Nagy did not think the hydrocephalus was bad enough to shunt today.  However, he still feels like it will need to happen and said "maybe tomorrow."  They said it is probably bound to happen it is just a timing issue as to when.  They don't want to put in a shunt if there isn't enough fluid to drain.  So I ended up just being exhausted all day long.  It was probably the worst day since we've been here.  All the nurses Toby has had so far were off and we had a new set.  I wasn't exactly pleased with the way everything was handled.  I learned today that you have to speak up!  The night nurse was great though and everything tonight has gone really well.  By the way....I got to hold Toby today!  It was the most amazing feeling.  He felt so sweet in my arms. I finally felt like I was  a mother.  I know he enjoyed it just as much as I did.  It was hard to put him down.  We are doing his feedings in our laps now.  They lay a pillow down and he lays on his stomach and we feed that way.  I was released today and we moved out into the parking lot.  It is really nice and we think we will be really comfortable.  It was such a relief to not have to leave him.  Lindsey came over to help get us settled in, and Dad helped get us some things to help make it feel like home.  It is killing me that Lindsey and Jacob are not able to see the baby.  They have each seen him once.  I know Lindsey saw him right after surgery... I wish she could see the progress he has made.  It is unbelievable.  Patience is a rotten fruit.  Dad got a lot of pictures printed off of his camera.  It was really sweet...I think new parents need something to show off.  It is also fun to lay them out and look at him.  Toby is really getting his schedule down.  He eats at 9, 1, and 5 ams and pms.  Adam did the 1 o'clock feeding, and I just got back from the 5.  Toby was awake and patiently sucking his passie when I walked in.  He ate with his eyes open (which he usually doesn't open).  They are dark and gorgeous.  Well I had better put myself back to bed.  Dr. Nagy is coming by in the morning. If he feels the head has grown we are doing surgery tomorrow (I guess today now).  I know it is only a matter of time.  Thanks for your prayers and keep them coming.  Toby could have a very long day!  I promise to put a picture soon!